I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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