i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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