CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Boobs speak an international language.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
