i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
