I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I party with great urgency now.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
