so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
