It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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