Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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