i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Randomize
