it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
