he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
