how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My ass is underappreciated
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
