ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
