On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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