the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
