Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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