just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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