Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
