fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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