he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
