I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The beer is more important than you right now.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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