i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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