My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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