Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
