Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
