My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
