guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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