Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
