"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
