Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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