I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
