3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Someone came in the potted fern
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
