i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
