sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
