i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
wow bdsm is so cute
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
