Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Randomize
