Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
