There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
