I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
