Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
