I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
