Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
