This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
