just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
