He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
