Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
