So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
