i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
