i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
