Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
