at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
