What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize