i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
