They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
