I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
