Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize