If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
