Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
